Not knowing how to fulfil our emotional needs or ignoring them and ignoring our own internal emotional pain or stresses is something I see the majority of mothers doing. It’s almost like we have to put ourselves last and go without in order to do our role as wife and mother, so we ignore what we need and what we feel.
We push it to the back of our minds but that sinking feeling in your stomach or that sadness in your heart continues to follow you around all day and all night. Yet we solder on. We put others first and ourselves last.
Does that make us better mothers because we are selfless?
I see things from the other side, the long term impact of what that selflessness does to the mother and her family.
I see how despite her best efforts to contain her emotions, she ends up exploding on her family or imploding inwards which damages her health. After all, she is human and not a machine.
I see that only when she is unwell from a stress-related illness that she feels now she is justified in saying to her family, what about me, I need something too but why is that the only time we feel justified to say I need support too.
I also see that when she does end up exploding on her family, they look at her like she is the problem instead of appreciating how much she has tried to contain her feelings, put others first until she couldn’t take it anymore.
I see you my sister and I see that you are the most important person in your family, the glue that keeps everyone together and everything ticking over.
I see how dedicated you are to making things better for yourself and everyone else but that can’t happen unless you, as the most influential person in your home, realises that you need to get help to deal with those emotional pain, hurt and stresses so that you can flourish and bring peace into your home.
Putting yourself first is putting your family first because you lead your family and your home and your family will reflect how well you are doing.
