WHAT IS IT THAT EVERY MOTHER WANTS? For her children to be happy.
This is a bond and concern that is in-built within every mother. It is like an internal GPS that drives you to go over and above for your children and so I know that you do your best for your children.
Why then are they still not happy despite you giving them everything that is within your power?
Because they put their happiness in your hands. Read that again.
If you are happy, they are happy.
If you are at peace, they will be at peace.
If you are content, they will be content.
Allah swt says that ‘He will not change the condition of the people until we change within themselves’ (Surah Ra’d v11). Yet as mothers, we put all of our efforts, resources and energy in our children, even to our own detriment.
But if that detriment or sacrifice makes you unhappy, chances are that our efforts will go to waste because we are not focusing on the core of the home, that is you.
As a mother, you are the light of your home. Allah swt has given you the highest status out of all the roles and with this status comes the power to influence your entire household. But chances are, you have been misusing your power. The power is to be used internally first.
If you are happy, your children will be happy. If you want your children to be happy, you need to follow the guidance of Allah swt and prioritise changing the things about yourself that you struggle with. If you focus on resolving your own problems, you will see that your children will change and become happy and settled.
Because they put their happiness in your HANDS.
They want you to be happy.
If you are angry, they will walk on egg-shells.
If you are sad, they will feel guilty to enjoy their own life.
If you are frustrated, they will constantly whinge and moan.
If you are feeling insecure, unable to be yourself with anyone, they will probably be very clingy to you.
If you are disappointed in life, they will probably feel that you are disappointed in them also.
Do you see the pattern here? Is this resonating?
Start focusing on yourself my beautiful sister, make a choice to overcome your challenges. Allah swt gave you a choice in every matter in your life. You may feel that you have no choice or others may have told you that you don’t have a choice. But I guarantee you that whatever situation you find yourself in, you always have a choice.
How do I know that?
Because free-choice was a gift given to you by Allah swt.
So you don’t have to stay stuck in your problems. You are not stuck. If you can’t see your choice in the situation you’re in, then we need to speak. But you can make a choice today to start overcoming your challenges, make dua for them to be resolved but also, start tying your camel, make a decision to break out of the cycle you are in.
Focus on finding your happiness and contentment in a way that aligns with what Allah swt will be pleased with. Why?
Not only will your children be happy when you are happy, but who doesn’t want to be happy in themselves? AND who doesn’t want to earn their akhrirah by seeking the pleasure of Allah swt.
It’s a win, win, win for you!
You want to be happy and your children want you to be happy. If you see your child struggling in life, I promise you that when your child sees you happy, unstuck and at peace, their own issues will almost disappear. They will feed off your happiness.
Take your God-given right to make choices that will be pleasing to Allah swt and get yourself unstuck. Allah swt did not want for you to be unhappy and stuck. He swt is the Most Loving, Al-Wadood.
So are you with me? Don’t put all of your time and effort in just making your children happy, it won’t work.
Prioritise your happiness and get unstuck from the circumstances that are holding you back. You can absolutely do this and Ramadan is an amazing time to start.
There is no problem in the world that cannot be resolved by understanding the Quran and how Allah swt has taught us to live an optimal life. Are you excited, are you hopeful? Good because that’s how Allah swt teaches us in the Quran to live your life from.
And if you want my help to find out how you can break out of your cycles and ruts and change yourself so that you can feel happy or if you want my help to see how you can solve every problem (and I mean EVERY PROBLEM) in your life using the Quran and Sunnah, then get in touch and book a free call with me by clicking this link www.meetme.once/aminahossen.